Finalize eventually

It was on 16th May 2000,saturday....i dress like a man with shirt and pants together with a bunch of flowers,we drove up to ROM,that was my big day...im gettting married,all those witnesses,our parents and the judge of course,those familiar sentences we heard over and over again either in the TV soap opera or either on friend's ROM day.
Today,I went up to the lawyer firm to collect my DIVORCE CERT,i went in with a normal mood,nothing special feeling,signed it and took the copy away,the lady mdm Long who passed me the copy said,"congrats,it's all been finalize."i gave a smile and walk away,on my way back,i took out the copy and read it just for the sake of what is the paper was about and vivid images of what's happenned in this total 12 years time period,thoughts flooded my mind,i wasn't thinking the way i was before,rather i did not blame anyone nor SHE...i started to think,did i did what i did as a duty before?Did i contribute enough?Well,what happenned oredi does,it's a good thing that finally both of us could live our life as an individual,but how abt Ashley?
I started to think about what my mum and my sis said to me....actually Ashley is the most innocent and the victim of the decision that you two have made,i understand the well mean and the cruel decision impact will have on her,but Ashley,pls forgive daddy....it wasn't your fault that mommy and me do not stayed together,it's just that mommy and I have learnt that we are not suitable for each other and we keep quarreling,but there is 1 thing for sure,I LOVE YOU ASHELY and i REALLY DO,although you have not heard from me or there is kinda wall btw us.
It took a long 12 yrs to settled the hatred,the issue,problems we had and have.I do not blame you or regret about anything,it just that we just doesnt work out the way we thought we might be,especially when we have our own nest,own liability,responsiblities.WE ARE JUST NOT PREPARED at that moment.Afterall this 12yrs we have took each other's time,youth and laughter.Sorry for all the time we wasted,Sorry for the effort that was in vain and sorry that we broke each other heart.although it's all in the past tense....
Sincerely i do wish and hope there is someone who can look after you,love ashley the way you love her,it would be enough for me to see you smile once again like before.
Hope everything works out the way we want after this divorce......
Gradually,i feel tears in my eyes.....im a human afterall............
Let's hope the best that will happen for each other in the near future.

How often are we tested by temptations and challenges in life?Every religion belief are they same,GOD will not end the road of one's who never give up.however to what extend does GOD comes and salvage their believers in their life?Let say,if one were to reach the edge of the mountain which the next step will be unthinkable,will GOD show a another way or would he catch you when you fall?

It's gonna End Where It's all initially Begins

I recieved a phonecall yesterday,It was calling from the lawyer officer,i was told to be at his office today at 2.30pm to have the document signed.As i was face-booking thru my timeline and i actually realised that today was 14th Feb(Valentine's day).It all begin 13 yrs ago on this very actual day,never did i realized that it's gonna end on this very actual day 13yrs later.Be it a coincidence or puporsely arranged,finally it ended these long years of confused,undecisive moment.Whatever it may come,will comes...be it good or bad.
It a freedom to both of us,a released option which have been hovering for these long 5yrs however it finally came to a releasing point,hence....i sincerely hope for all the best to you and your new life and i will always remembered this day,a day which human created for a small celebration for loved ones emarks the day which created us and it actually also embarks the end of us.

Sound corny and dramatic...but that's the truth...a day where everything begin is also the day where everything ended.14021999-14022012.

Ashley,i hope u can forgive the unforgiven me for all the pain and sadness that was brewed during the moment of  our stubborn and intensive decision that free the both of us from something we do not have belief anymore.



.

I thought i was having FUN,enjoying life,having excitment!!I was WRONGGGGGG!!It was totally different when i realised the consequences that it will only bring hurt for whatever decision was made,so often one's was too involved into his world and started to realise that other people was really careing about him and it becomes a habit that it should be,but this is all a BLESSING and not a MUST!When you realised it,it always comes too late,just too late for it,even you started to realise that it was actually a blessing.
当你查觉到你已经不再被在枞容,那是因为她已经被伤害了
就是在一刹那,快如闪电的杀伤力,已足够带来悲伤,绝望.
你每次伤心 我每次缺席,我放不过我自己,转一圈回到了原地

但如经,我只可以把眼泪当成一种提醒.
寂寞寂寞就好.........







 

My day started with meeting up BB and mum to bring BB to shop for her CNY clothing,was wandering around town area,unable to find something BB like,so we headed to scotts...finally got her a tunic dress from MANGO and i hope she will like it,then came Vern to pass some CNY goodies to both of them and we headed for dinner,although it was a tiring day however it was worth the effort as BB was really enjoying herself with japanese cusine and ice cream...
I realized that i have missed out alot during her growth,it was a fruitful trip as i learned alot of things about BB and her life now.Vern and her was talking all through out the dinner session,there was a kind of bonding which i had missed it for a very very long time...can't wait for the next meet up.

Singapore flyer!!Here we come!!

I know it was a mistake 2 years ago which affected you,although time can't be reverse and things would not even changed for now,but you have always been on my mind since that very day.How i wish that i could hold your little hand to school,your laughter never fails to make my day,your monkey face which led you to a good beating by mummy.
The only memories through out the years was just the photo of you that were accompany me thru my hard time,i do not expect much,just hope you are in good hands,well taken care of and healthy.Even though now that life have changed,the fact of you are that you are still my lovely BB............

She tapped me from behind and i turn around,i paused for a few seconds,take a deep breath,she asked me"You not working here?"I thought that she would not called me and never did i expected,we chat for a while,a really open chat and a peaceful one instead...hehe,there was no hatred,no sore feeling,no screaming,not hostile..im GALD!!
Thinking back,i really miss out alot for these past 3years,even thou the outcome was to nobody liking but some time things just don't turn out as everybody would hope so,that's life,we gotta learn to take it as it comes.i feel happy when i see you living your life so well,being happy,a new life,new companion.regrets is not the word to hover my mind now.what's done can't be undone,sincerely i do hope u are living your life well and happy now.
Thanks for bringing out such a beautiful one to the world for me.........from my bottom of my heart,THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME ONCE BEFORE