I have always pick myself up every fall,i have been tough all thru out,when today you told me the cruel truth,my mind is in a blank,i just can't digest every words.It just like a recorder which keep playing again and again in my mind and i just can't think of anything...why does it happen when i truthfully putting my heart and soul into something that i have decided,times and times i have been trying to resurface and saving it......i thought that when things could go back to the starting point,things can be improve and could be even better......until i realised a fact that the STARTING POINT is an ENDING POINT!!Why??WHY am i so useless??
The words just keep ramming my mind,invading my mind,i try to think wat am i going to do.....somehow or rather....my mind is in a TOTALLY BLANK....i really can't think,can't figure.....not a solution not an answer there!!Looking thru the times,the holidays,those happy moments...i cried....it's not just my eyes,my heart too....Letting go=Freedom???Is that so??I know whatever i do now can't change your thinking and feeling.
perhaps is this the ending??Everybody wants a happy ending,what about me??Why?There is just too many WHY in my head now and i just can't figure out why....everybody want the understanding from everyone,is there anyone out there to understand what the fucking shit i'm facing now?
I've been strong,the only time i've cried is my beloved dad DAD pass away without me having the last look at him,but why now??why am i in tears?Why?
Perhaps you guys out there have the answer.....but......it's still me......perhaps times will heal all wounds,for all i know now is Why am i feeling this way?Where is the strong in me?Where is the toughness in me?where is the take thing easy attitude in me?Where is the "XIAO SHA" in me?WHERE are you when i needed you most??